9/5/02

In the fine light of the morning
I cracked myself open, bared my soul
And inside found a hole
A barren stone quarry eight miles wide

Sometimes I turn to you, eyes down and longing -
"Please, patch me up,
Make me feel complete"
But the plaster cracks, cracks every time
Tiny bits of dust falling out
And the hole returns

Sometimes I try to be my own handyman,
But I’ve no plaster, only tears
And tears don’t hold fast, they drain away
They fall away, and the hole remains

And sometimes I push away the emptiness,
Push it away as you do the homely girl that loves you
Toss it away like a rotten magazine
But it comes back, always
Like a sullen cat for the remains of supper

All I can do is lay still in the night
Pray silently for the diamond light of grace
And call out to the courageous one, the special one
The goddess that will save me